It's pissy outside, but it's Friday. Here's Five:

1. What's one thing you've always wanted to do, but never have?
Canoe the Nahane River in the Yukon and write poems about it. Sometimes I want to be Emily Carr.

2. When someone asks your opinion about a new haircut/outfit/etc, are you always honest?
No. But I imagine they can tell.

3. Have you ever found out something about a friend and then wished you hadn't? What happened?
Twice. Once, I found out that my friend had taken all the money her parents gave her for university, then only pretended to go to university for two years. Secondly, I learned a friend's husband had been hiding an affair AND a cocaine habit for two years. I hate being "had" by people, being led to believe in them, while being duped all along.

4. If you could live in any fictional world (from a book/movie/game/etc.) which would it be and why?
Pooh Corner, because, man, that Christopher Robin had it made. But Narnia would also be nice to visit.

5. What's one talent/skill you don't have but always wanted?
Oh, to sing like Sarah Vaughan. I would give ten years to sing like that.

Peace Out
Big cock up at work today (Chip, that means "problem"). Because I'm "the newbie", only three weeks old, someone forgot to include me in a rushed but important stream of e-mails about a Web site related decision. So off I go, telling the Webmaster to do one thing, which she does, then all hell breaks loose when everyone else notices. "Well who the hell told her to do that?" At least everyone felt equally stewpid about it when I responded "I did". Inside, I was really nervous and fucked up. On the outside, I was trying for a serene, unphased reaction, hoping to seem like I saw the humour in the situation. I have no idea if I pulled it off. It's entirely possible that I looked like one of the counsellors at Camp Krusty after Bart toppled their corrupt regime.

Then, on the way home, the subway broke down in between stations, and all the lights shut off! This has never happened to me! That nervous and fucked up feeling returned, and I thought "Great day to be wearing Nana's gold watch". I held my purse tight to my chest, clasped my hand over the watch and started the breathing exercises they teach you at migraine clinics. Then of course, I nodded off. Eventually, the subway must have started up again, because I woke up a stop too late, and walked home in the rain. Can't win for losing these days!

Friday is four hours away.

Crabby Is As Crabby Does
Crabby is a good thing. Catching Crabby is another thing. These and fourteen hundred other Googlisms about Crabby were courtesy of Ice Queen, a wealth of fun-but-time-wasting links.

Yes, catching Crabby has been tricky this week. I'm suffering from new job angst. For nine months I sat in my home-office researching chromosone 22 deficiencies, writing about advocacy for blind people, and writing editorials about Bramalea's new homes market. I communicated with the world by e-mail; I think I had two meetings in November, and two in January. This week, however, it's a different story.

I'm living in Dilbert hell. Today I was invited to a pre-meeting meeting. I was e-mailed four different draft agendas for a thirty minute teleconference. I've been asked to accomplish the impossible twice (in twenty minutes revise, edit, and proofread a twenty-page document that had seven authors' formatting changes incorporated). I'm sure I'll be fired. Good thing I know lots about Bramalea. That should get me far in life.

So more about advocacy. I'm a terrible advocate. The gay marriage issue is very au courrant. If I were gay, or somehow marginalized by society, no way would I fight for my rights. I'm too meek. I'm too complacent. I would never march or protest for anything. I work right beside the courthouse on University Avenue (a "court in session" light blinks at me outside my window). There are different groups griping about something almost everyday, marching around with placards, chanting shit I can't understand. Really, they just take up the whole sidewalk, and what with the languishing smokers, nobody can get past them. I think they are wasting their time out there. I also want the nurses and teachers to shut the hell up. If you don't like your job, if you think you're getting the shaft, then quit. Go work at a Mac's Milk and see how much respect you get there.