Friday, December 17, 2004

Fun times at Crabby Corp

There is no easy or elegant way to replace your torn stockings with new stockings while in a teeny ladies’ room stall at work. I need more room to hop around and tug at the waistband, and a mirror to make sure I haven’t torn the new ones as a result of hopping around and tugging.

It’s particularly uncomfortable when the woman in the stall beside me is audibly crying.

What’s the protocol for such a display? Does one offer comfort to a crying colleague? Pass tissue under the stall? Does one pretend to not notice, or hurry up and leave the bathroom before she does, to leave her in peace?

There are two other women at Crabby Corp that I try to avoid. I’ll call one Eeyore, very quiet and always depressed. I can never hear what she’s trying to tell me, and I’ve learned that I don’t really want to. The second woman is Needy Nora. She’s a time thief, always plopping her sad self down in my office with an announcement of some sort. “Well, my husband and I are separating.” “Well my son has been kicked out of school.” My benign smiling and nodding haven’t worked. She’s chosen me as her therapist. She won’t go away. I want to mention this to her boss, but I feel too guilty.

How do I get rid of them? And what would you do about the crying?