Thursday, December 04, 2003

Career Crab's Big Day
I tried to resign this week (see November 20th post). They wouldn't let me. They said nice things to me. Then they said some more nice things. Then they went money hunting. Then they found some. Then today, they offered it to me, and said even more nice things. So, sucker that I am, I'm staying put. No boob job for Crabby.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Charity Crab's Christmas Suggestions

Adopt an endangered animal.
Help pull a family out of poverty.
Plant a tree in Africa.

Or, closer to home,

Feed a family.
Throw a dog a bone.

Monday, December 01, 2003

Why I Love Mr. Crabby

He has never, not once, left the seat up.
He drove me to Home Depot and agreed with my paint chip selection.
He gave me kittens.
He brings me earplugs from his work.
He said "Let's make home-made pizza tonight."
He hung the Christmas lights outside yesterday.
He won't let me vacuum the stairs.
He liked the Asian Chicken Soup that I made for lunch.
He got nervous when the power went out last night.
He gets excited when there are samples in the grocery store.

When I tell him that my successes are due in large part to him, he laughs and says, "No Crabby, it's all you."