Thursday, November 25, 2004

Flattering or Creepy? You decide.

I received a phone call yesterday morning from an old fling – not a boyfriend, just a fling, a non-romantic dalliance, from almost ten years ago. He googled me. I got googled! Ten years ago, Mr. Fling was married, and now he is divorced. He called to “catch up” and to take me to lunch. And now Mr. Crabby thinks I have a stalker.

The circumstances under which this would be ok: if we bumped into each other on the street, completely out of the blue, and then went to have a coffee or lunch to “catch up.”

In my rule book, this particular invitation isn’t ok, because it seems to me that he sought me out. I’m not hard to find; my name is all over a dozen or more Web sites and online publications and press releases, and the Crabbys are listed in the phone book. But he admitted to purposefully looking for me. And I would add “purposefully looking for me now that he is divorced.”

I know that I could meet him for a casual lunch, and that nothing would happen. Of course, nothing would happen! It might even be fun to turn him down in person. But under these particular circumstances, I believe that it would be inappropriate. A male confidant assured me that guys, newly divorced or otherwise, don’t seek out an ex because they have a craving for a soup and a salad.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes, lunch isn’t just lunch. It’s a booty call.