Caveat Emptor

I bought a wee pot of hand cream at a store in the country this weekend. I opened it up, used some, and was thrilled with how emollient it was. This led me to inspect the label. Here's what it said:

"Wash udder and teat parts thoroughly with clean water and soap. Apply to the udder after each milking. For teat cracks, apply in sufficient quantity to fill crack. For aid in softening swollen udders after calfing, apply liberally twice daily."