The Cottage Rules
Oh yeah, the cottage RULES baby, but the cottage also has rules. Just as the Ice Queen learns and creates rules for living happily with a toddler, I have learned how to best enjoy time spent in (sing with me now) Deseronto:

Do not wear Jones New York white sweater while cleaning muck from fireplace.

No matter how many cigars, bottles of wine, or olives you bring, it will not be enough (sure, that's more of an advisory - not a rule).

Always make a fool of yourself in the local LCBO, perhaps by overly appreciating wine with funny labels, like Fat Bastard or Mad Fish Arghhhh.

Don't park under the tree if you want to see out of your car window.

Don't eat in town. Just drive through quickly with the windows up and doors locked.