On Cheating

I watched Oprah on Monday (my guilty secret when I'm sick). Her guests included two philandering husbands. One had engaged in various extra-marital affairs for 15 years. He eventually confessed to his wife, and she forgave him. Members of the audience told that woman that she was a horrible role model for young women.

This got us talking. First, I am certain that not one of my family or friends has cheated on their spouse. However, the odds dictate that likely two of them has cheated. At least two. I can't see it. Secondly, the wife who forgave her husband made her own decision, of (I hope) her own free will, and is trying to put her family back together. How is she a bad role model? Women are so critical of each other.

How would you react if you found out? Would you feel worse if you learned about 15 years of various affairs, rather than a one-night-while-at-a-conference-got-drunk indiscretion? Is there a difference? What if your relationship is damaged, on its way down the drain? Is cheating OK then, because maybe your committment to each other may be less than it once was? Years ago, near the end of a five-year relationship with an old boyfriend, I kissed another guy. A lot. I feel kinda crappy about that. I don't know if it was "cheating," but it wasn't right.

If it happened to you, would you forgive?