Mary Has Two Little Clamps, Little Clamps, Little Clamps...
And my cheeks are white as snow. Happy to report that xyz surgical procedure is over and done with. I'm also happy to be back at home, where people know that my real name is Crabby, not what's printed on my medical card. "Remember," I said to Mr. Crabby as we entered the day surgery admitting room, "my name is Mary today." This drew some strange glances. There are three names on my birth certificate, and hence on my medical card. It's always been easiest to let them call me by the first name that appears, rather than correct everybody all the time. Imagine the chart work! So all day it was Mary this and Mary that, which likely helped me distance myself from the whole event.

"Breathe, Mary. You have to breathe." Wasn't I? The nurse pointed to the angry red bleeping thing beside me, and shook her head no, not breathing enough. That made me laugh a little, as much as I could. Morphine is so nice.

Anyway, Crabby's home, Crabby's woozy, but if Crabby sits very still and doesn't let the kitty kitties jump on her, Crabby will be just fine.