When will this weather break? I can't stand it much longer. Thank the sweet lord for air conditioning - but I'm tired of hiding indoors. I martinied on a patio for an hour or so yesterday evening with two friends, and we thought for sure there was a semblance of a fresh breeze... but not this morning. My hydro metre is spinning at dizzying speeds. "Sorry family, Christmas is cancelled - have to pay my hydro bill." They don't know it yet, but they're not getting presents anyway. I'm buying goats for families in developing nations on behalf of my family, instead of buying them gifts. More on that later.

We have a virus on our home computer - a very annoying virus that Norton has washed its hands of, apparently. I read something about this bug in the paper yesterday. Anybody know what I should do about it? Will Dr. Hibbert give me PC Penicillin?

I'm actually breaking up with Dr. Hibbert. His snotty new partner is more drug-friendly, and I like her. Even though she still thinks my husband beats me.

Back to the computer, and one final thought for my loyal lurkers and regular readers. Have you ever noticed those four notes that your PC plays when shutting down Windows sound just like the song Mike Myers sings in "So I Married an Axe Murderer"?

She makes me horny,
Saturday morny,
I want to be Betty's Barney.

Now it'll be in your head all day. You're welcome.