Annals of Recruitment
Loyal lurkers and readers will remember the adventures I shared as I interviewed candidate after candidate last month. The search for my assistant was ultimately unsuccessful, so we're at it again. Here's the best of the lot so far:

Under Hobbies and Activities: "I like haiku, people watching in the rain, and free Diet Coke refills." (that's nice dear)
On Cover Letter: "I have two year experience in assist and one year experience in." (not proofreading)
"Dear Lynn Hartman" (not my name)
"Dear Sir" (definitely not my name)
"I am keenly interested in bringing my skills as a shipping clerk to you're firm." (I am?)
"I am have very good on using Words." (I promise I'm not making this up)
"I am a hard working and consociation individual." (huh?)
"I can work both independently and apart from a team." (?)
On Voice Mail: "Hello. Please call me back. I saw your job posting and would like to talk it over with you. I have some questions for you. Please call at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning." (message deleted, next message)