Thursday, September 25, 2003

Put Your Hands in the Air Like You Don't Care: One Bitchin' Lapsed Catholic

...but just don't clap them. Earlier this week, the Vatican drafted a document listing various liturgical abuses, such as dancing in the aisles, clapping, and (horrors), from having altar girls at mass. Yes, liturgical abuses! The draft document directs that "priests should never feel obliged to seek girls for this function". Well this really yanks my rosary. I was once a little Catholic girl who served on the altar, and attended a church that did in fact celebrate with liturgical dance. And damn us all, we even clapped at weddings. What a shame that like smoking, eating, and promiscuity, celebrating one's faith is now frowned upon. And the Catholic Church specializes in shame. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.

Bugger that for a bunch of bananas. I'm tempted to find me a church at lunch time, barge in, dance, clap, maybe sing a little, administer communion, then leave. Watch for the headlines... "Mad Catholic Struck Dead in Street".