How to rot my socks
Send me an e-mail to tell me that you are too busy "to handle administrative details," and to suggest that I drop by your office for a "briefing" on how I should handle them. Don't you know who I am? Sheesh.

How to break my heart
Tell me that my angel-faced kitten is "difficult" (we knew this), and what do I think of "putting her in a box and gassing her until she is unconscious, so that we could take a blood sample at her next appointment"? I kid you not.

How to make me smile
Upon hearing of my recent eye injury, tell me "tsk tsk, how awful, for one with such pretty eyes."

How to earn my respect
Write a really awesome bestseller, and on page 697, throw in a plot twist that changes everything.