The Job Search

There are some most excellent job titles out there, just waiting for the perfect candidate to snatch 'em up. Some of the best I've noticed recently include:
Major Gifts Coordinator - "Oh really, you shouldn't have. Please send this to someone who needs it more."
Social Responsibility Officer - "Hey! Nosepickin' just ain't permitted here. And put that cigarette out. No, not on the carpet. Have you called yer mother?"
Editorial Supervisor - "You can't say that. Or that. What style guide are you using? Chicago? You can't use that. Have you considered the Quebec position at all?
Associate, Communicable Diseases - "Cough please. Just a little closer. Closer... closer.... closer...."
Park Interpreters - "For seventy four years, this park has been calling out to lobbyists across our nation... calling for change... for meaning..."
Board Crimes Investigator - "I say Mrs. Peacock, in the library, with the candlestick!"

What's the worst job you've ever had? Mine was a "babysitter" for Upjohn in Montreal. My oh so special assignment was to sit with with newly admitted psych patients in Monteal's Children's Hospital. Most of the kids had recently atttempted suicide, and couldn't be left without supervision of some sort. I was paid $7.00/hr to listen to children sob, to parents assign blame, to siblings quarrel. I only got to leave the room if a priest/confessor arrived. I worked the midnight shift.

The best job? Selling Girl Guide Cookies. Who turns away a cute little girl in a bonny little dress carrying cookies? It doesn't get better than that!